Motherhood & Saint Mary

“...and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed.” Luke 1: 47-48

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. I look back with great fondness on the years when my children were young. We homeschooled, memorized Scripture, read, spanked, visited the library weekly, and were at church every time the doors were open.

I had read all the parenting books I could get my hands on, so we could employ the latest greatest methods. I breastfed, sleep-trained, and thought I had the corner market on mothering. But life, and our own flaws, have a way of catching up to us, don’t they?

And our kids grow up to have hearts and minds of their very own. Who knew? Our children eventually get to choose how they interact with the world, with others, and with God too. Scripture sometimes gets tossed out in favor of worldly wisdom, and it is here in this very space that mamas cry all the tears over failed formulas and if-onlys. Children no longer within our control lead us to our knees, begging for salvation and the saving and the salvaging of what’s left of this damaged miry clay.

As we near Mother’s Day, I can’t help but think of Saint Mary. The most holy and blessed mother of all, I wonder if she was ever plagued with self-doubt over decisions, or fraught with worry for her son’s future. Did she hang out with disappointment or ruminate when situations went awry? She was human after all. Did she falter in faith when Jesus chose the hardest, darkest path, and was she broken and poured out as Jesus was broken and poured out? Mary’s highest hopes were left longing, perhaps burdened with a weight of her own flaws too.

We only see in part, but one day we will see clearly. 1 Corinthians 3:12

Yet, Mary looked up in what was surely her greatest moment of brokenness and beheld the cross. The saving amazing grace of the cross. The best formula of all had not required Mary’s forethought, approval, or input at all. When despair sets in, we can turn upward as Mary did. We only see in part, but one day we will see clearly.

Mamas, let us look up together to behold the ne who holds our children in His ever-loving, ever-purposeful hands. He holds us mamas too!

Published by Angie

An introspective pastor’s wife, who believes in lots & lots of grace, laughter and waffles. Mom of four and wife to one very cute pastor. I am grateful for life in all its messiness.

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